I was sabotaging myself in a number of ways that I didn’t even realize… The longer this goes on, the more you’re becoming convinced more than ever that this whole dating/sex/talking to other people thing is something that do and you’d be better off weighing the pros and cons of a monastic life of quiet desperation and a poetic death via alcoholism interspersed with self-pitying and slightly arch animated gif parades on Tumblr or women being bitches or any number of other things I told myself to explain my failures away.An attitude of “This sucks, this will never work, I’ll never_______, only _____ people get to do _____,” only guarantees that you are indeed correct; it won’t ever work, nor will you ever do whatever it is that you’ve been hoping.They’re self-limiting beliefs – beliefs that you allow to take over your life and restrict you from achieving what you hope to achieve. When you tell yourself that you will never ________ because only X guys do _______ and you’re not X, you’re artificially cutting yourself off from any and all possibilities.
There’s a reason why “just be yourself” is one of the most annoyingly useless advice cliches out there.
You’re not getting any responses from your online dating profile. Over the years I’ve seen these issues crop up again and again; I’ve seen them in friends, in the letters I’ve gotten as Dr.
and until I took the time to recognize this and actually address these issues, I was going to get better.
After all, it’s likely that “being yourself” hasn’t exactly gotten you to where you want to be. When we look at people who have something we want – whether it be material success, a skill or talent or even just a hot girlfriend – it’s only natural to try to be more like them.
Whatever they’ve got going for them worked for them… And after all, whatever you’ve been doing hasn’t exactly been working out for you so far.If, for example, you believe that only “alpha” – for a suitably mistaken definition of “alpha” men get women, then that will be part of your reality.